https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s27AJK67K_w

The above link is the song that helped me realize God's answer for me to have children was not necessarily a NO. I was HIS child. I earnestly sougt him day and night with the same request. He wasn't ignoring me. He wasn't "not answering". He wasn't telling me no. He had a greater plan in mind. A greater yes! I WAS to have children... just not in my time. His plan for me wasn't about me conceiving. It wasn't through a traditional adoption. Although, we did adopt, we weren't the ones chosing.

Through-out our married life there have been valleys I wouln't have wanted our children to have to walk through. I see that now. There have been people that could've quite possibly hurt our children. I see that and am so thankful now that God didn't give them to us then. I could go on with these "I see that now", "what could've been".. but it all comes down to this ...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, 
my thoughts than your thoughts." 
Isaiah 55:8,9

God, in His infinite wisdom, holds us in his hands every day whispering "Trust Me", Trust Me", "Trust Me". "Be patient, my child, I will work it out for your good".   

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

So, how did we get to adopt these 2 precious little boys, our nephews? Something tragic happened to one of them, that to this day, I still don't know the truth. And I guess it doesn't matter because my sister and husband do and so does God and they will have to live with it for the rest of their lives while I get to live with the boys for the rest of mine. Two people made a selfish decision by putting their own will and safety over that of their 3 week old son and have continued to do that  with every other person in their life since that day.  After sugeries, hospital stays, evaluations (mental and health), court hearings, etc., a year and a half later, We officially became mommy and daddy. And there it was - my greater yes!